Vision Battlesword and Alex Negrete open the can of worms most people keep sealed: the shadow. They start where the word starts - Carl Jung, the popular sense of the shadow as something dark or dangerous, the "that wasn't me, that was my shadow" reflex - and then take it apart down to the technical definition. A shadow is the place where the light does not fall because an object stands in the way. It is a thing that is not a thing, an illusion cast by blocked light. Mapped onto the psyche, the light becomes awareness itself, the object becomes a belief or a wall, and shadow work becomes the practice of moving that light to see what has been hiding behind it. Threaded through the whole conversation is the show's frame of Intentional Evolution: agency as the most valuable thing a person can hold, the self as software you can upgrade, and the uncanny mirror between decoding our own code and the rise of the machines doing the same.

From there the conversation moves into shadows as parts. Drawing on Vision's technology background, they frame a shadow as a kind of snapshot or shadow copy - a fully functional replica of the self that splits off in a peak moment, traumatic or transcendent, as a survival strategy, and then keeps its own agency inside us. These parts can be inherited from the generations before us and passed to the ones after. They are invested in staying unseen, because being seen threatens their survival. Alex offers a careful, experiential hypothesis, naming the limits of his own expertise, that connects this fragmentation to patterns Western medicine still finds mysterious.

The spine of the episode is Alex's own story, shared as a live case study. A top-100 YouTuber by his mid-twenties, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, and the trauma fractured him: a wall went up between his younger, fiery, visible self and the adult who decided that younger self was unsafe. DMT, a move from Los Angeles to Austin, hypnotherapy, and a first ayahuasca ceremony surfaced a self-critical part he called ugly and could no longer avoid. A new relationship asking real vulnerability brought it all back to the surface, along with a mirror moment - looking at his own reflection and wondering whether he saw a failure. Visibility, it turns out, is not the same as being seen. He was watched by six hundred thousand people and known by none of them.

The back half goes practical. Vision guides Alex into a live, unscripted dialogue with the part, who names himself Heat, and the two of them work in real time with Heat's terror of rejection and his fear of being erased entirely. Out of it comes the reframe the whole episode was building toward: the shadow is not a monster to be fought but nature's own survival mechanism, an internal support system, an internal family. Shadow work becomes shadow play - gathering the cast of characters already inside you, getting them rowing the same direction, and trading a rocket with no compass for rocket fuel and a clear heading. Listeners are invited to start exactly where Alex did: with curiosity, a few quiet breaths, and a single honest question aimed inward.

Show Notes

Chapters

• 00:00:00 - Something Wants to Come Through: Who Are You, Alex Negrete?
• 00:08:53 - Agency, Software Upgrades & the Mirror of AI
• 00:13:06 - What Is a Shadow? The Thing That Isn't a Thing
• 00:19:34 - Shadow Copy: Snapshots, Survival & the Split-Off Self
• 00:31:39 - Fragmentation & Mental Health: A Working Hypothesis
• 00:34:31 - Alex's Story: Fame, Cancer & the Fracture
• 00:51:23 - The Mirror & the Hologram: Seen by Thousands, Known by One
• 00:58:10 - Bringing a Part Into the Light: Holding, Awareness & Heart
• 01:09:08 - Live Exercise: Meeting "Heat"
• 01:30:01 - Your Internal Avengers: Shadow Play & Where to Start

[00:00:00] Vision Battlesword: Hello, welcome to the Intentional Evolution Podcast. I am your host, Vision Battlesword, integral consultant and founder of iEvolve Life, a personal and professional development practice based on the philosophy of intentional evolution. This podcast is an ongoing conversation to explore that philosophy, as well as to serve as a resource, a showcase, and a catalyst for ongoing growth toward the human singularity.

That is to say, mass awakening of new consciousness, super intelligence, and radical creative flourishing. Each episode, I'll feature a world-class transformational facilitator, co-creator, or friend to reveal cutting edge psychospiritual technology, unpack our deepest wisdom, and evolve our awareness. This series is based on value for value, so whatever value you receive from these transmissions, please return some value back in the form of a donation directly supporting our contributors or offering your own time and talent as a producer.

Thanks for joining me in this journey, and now, here's our episode

It feels like there's something that wants to come through, is that what you're saying?

[00:01:12] Alex Negrete: Yeah, there's something that... Yeah, that's what it feel- I mean, that's what I get the sense, I would say. I'm still kind of getting used to feeling safe in the body, so feeling i- is kind of a newer thing to me. But I get the sense that there's something that wants to come through, let's put it that way.

[00:01:26] Vision Battlesword: I think we're about to find out what that is.

[00:01:28] Alex Negrete: Let's see.

[00:01:29] Vision Battlesword: Something's about to come through. Who are you, Alex Negrete?

[00:01:35] Alex Negrete: Who am I? That's such a great question. Because when any typical person will ask me, I almost feel like typically that means, "What do you do?" Or something like that.

[00:01:46] Vision Battlesword: Exactly.

[00:01:47] Alex Negrete: So then it's almost like t- I almost feel like whenever y- when any normal, like, typical person, I'm having to start from square one to let them know how I got here.

Because if you just say, "I'm a hypnotherapist," most people are, they think it's woo-woo, they think you're gonna try to control them or you're gonna... Or like, or that you could, like, make them quack like a duck or something, you know? So then I have to tell the whole story on how I got here, which I've told before, and it's kind of hard to condense that.

But so I appreciate this, 'cause it's not often that I get that question from someone like you, someone who's... Well, also somebody who kind of knows me, too. So who am I? I, I kind of always view things through a soul lens. So I view myself as a soul who is having a certain experience. And so if, if I'm asked who am I, the real knowing goes beyond the soul.

But then the real knowing even goes deeper than that. So there's layers to this. So I would say, okay, let's, let's have fun with this. There's three layers to it. At the deepest layer, who I know myself to be is consciousness itself. I am all that is experiencing itself as, uh, apart from that. The next layer is I believe we have a soul, and my soul has been here for many incarnations over potentially thousands of years, and that the reason I'm actually here is to help with this shift that's happening on the planet.

Essentially this raising of consciousness and ascending from a consciousness that's more separate and potentially divisive to one that's more unifying. So in a way, that really connects to the topic at hand because as within, so without, as above, so below. So by doing this work, we're actually doing this work for the planet as well.

And then the third layer, which is the surface, me here as a human being a hypnotherapist, which is just really another way of saying I'm working in the, the health space, and it was a long journey to get here, to, to become a hypnotherapist. If you would've told me even four years ago that I was gonna be doing this, I, I would've just thought you were crazy.

But life has a funny way of working out. So that's the answer.

[00:04:19] Vision Battlesword: I love that answer, and you might be surprised or maybe not about how many people, when I ask them that question, go to somewhere like that. Mm. Go to some level of I'm an aspect of God, I am a, I am the universal consciousness. So it's definitely in the collective, in the field.

People are starting to think about themselves differently at a deeper level or maybe at a more spiritual or a more metaphysically open-minded perspective on their personal identity beyond what you originally said, which is like, "Oh, this is my job. This is what I do. This is my personal history. This is my...

Let me tell you the story of my life." You know, I think people are thinking about things a little differently in terms of their identity, their I am-ness these days, which I think is great, and I love that you brought it to, like, layers, and especially that second layer which had to do, correct me if I'm wrong, with mission or purpose in having an impact or making a contribution to the collective evolution because, of course, that's exactly what this whole series, this show is all about, intentional evolution, which I would like to hear your perspective on what that means to you as well before we kinda jump into the main topic for the day.

[00:05:39] Alex Negrete: Thank you. Yeah, and, and I know you could probably get into a whole long answer the way that I did, but maybe in a few sentences, who are you?

[00:05:50] Vision Battlesword: Sometimes what comes up for me is I'm kind of a visitor in this human experience, and I'm still trying to figure it out. Sometimes it feels like I'm a, I'm on vacation or I'm in a different country, and the customs here are a little strange to me. I don't quite speak the language fluently, but it's a fascinating exploration and opportunity to get to answer that question more and more for myself through this confusing but also delightful experience that we call life.

[00:06:34] Alex Negrete: That's well said. Yeah. And it was very, very honest and, and authentic, and that's why I like this question, because I wasn't even expecting it. And when you're kind of speaking without having a pre-planned answer, it's like the truth comes out a little more, or your truth really.

[00:06:50] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm.

[00:06:51] Alex Negrete: Yeah. That's nice.

[00:06:53] Vision Battlesword: What does intentional evolution mean to you?

[00:06:57] Alex Negrete: Intentional evolution. Well, evolution is gonna be happening whether we're intentional about it or not. That's a fact. You're either gonna be evolving in one way or evolving in another. And what do they say? It's like the only constant is change, and nothing's ever staying the same, even if it looks like it is.

So intentional evolution is the best way to do evolution because you're actually choosing, and you're choosing to be a conscious creator of your evolution with... which, in a certain way, puts you in more of a role of potentially being an artist, because then it's like you are designing, you are creating, you are making your life or you into potentially some sort of a work of art

[00:07:51] Vision Battlesword: Yeah, I like that, and I agree with you.

We get to sort of paint this four-dimensional art piece as we move through space and time. And so the evolution is a given, like you said. The universe evolves. That seems to be one of the fundamental principles of it. And then the question of attentional evolution to me is, to what degree are we or would we like to be aware of our impact, our-- the nature of our choices in the direction and the shape of that evolutionary unfolding?

And to me, what's really interesting about this time that we inhabit now is that we seem to be going through a transformation collectively in terms of our level of capability to become self-directed in our evolution. We're still shaped, of course, by our environment and external forces, but we have the ability to actually take a lot more ownership for how we would like to change, transform, evolve, grow, and develop through our own self-awareness.

You know what I mean?

[00:09:11] Alex Negrete: 100%. Yeah, absolutely. We've never had more power to do that than, than now, and we're only gaining more power as time goes on.

[00:09:19] Vision Battlesword: And it's like the type of, the type of work that you do and, and that I do using these kind of psycho technologies, psycho-spiritual architectures, frameworks, this ability to kind of turn the lens back around on ourself or help each other put our lens on each other, our psychology, our spirituality, our sort of integrated human system, see almost like Neo in The Matrix to see the code that we're actually made of, this information, these, these patterns, these programs, these beliefs, and then both tools and agency to start to see what happens when we make changes to those programs.

[00:10:03] Alex Negrete: Yeah. That, that's beautifully put, and, and I would agree with that because one of the words that you just used that I love is agency, right? And in my opinion, that's the most valuable w- or one of the most valuable things that we can have because no matter what you believe or anything, if you have more agency, you have more control, you have more power to actually create that.

And so that's what the work that I'm doing and really Intentional Evolution really seems to be about, is giving you back that agency, giving you more agency. Because if you're only running at 60% capacity, you only have 60% capability of intentionally evolving versus imagine if you had 70 or 80 or 90 or as close as you could get to 100, right?

That's why I almost have this analogy in my mind of like We have all these programs that are operating within us from things that society has gifted us to our parents, our, our mental and emotional inheritance, and these things are all hindering us in certain ways. So are we running a program that was always gonna be in place whether we had a say in it or not?

Or are we able to actually take control of that? And the analogy that I like to use is thinking of it like a-- that we can, by changing these things, by removing the blocks, we can give ourselves a software update or upgrade. 'Cause it's like think about the version of you that's running software version 10, and if you knew that you were only running software version four, but you had 10 available to you in the cloud, what could that version 10 of you be doing?

Right? How would they think? And that's where it really becomes a timeline shift, a collapse, because you could spend years in linear time running software version four and never get to where you would get to in a month of running software version 10.

[00:12:12] Vision Battlesword: Yeah, exactly. That's exactly how I think about things, and I think it's just so interesting th- the way that we're developing in parallel, the way our, our human system, human intelligence, our ability to decode ourselves, to, to realize the code, the literal software that we are made of.

And then in parallel with the development of this machine learning, large language models, so-called artificial intelligence, the analogies that we can find, like, it's almost like looking in the mirror in a way. Like, we're seeing our own reflection in the machines, and we're starting to realize, like, "Well, wait, wait.

We are them. They are us." Like, we're not so different, you know? The physical, maybe the physical hardware, the components are different, but in reality, we're all made of information, and that's a really, really empowering thought. You know? That gives us so much agency, to your point, when we realize that we can upgrade our own software, and more and more of those tools are becoming available, again, through the type of work that we do.

So I wanna get to the meat and potatoes of the discussion because there is a word that I think a lot of people have been hearing. I think it's becoming more and more popular, especially over the last, say, 10 or 20 years, for people to talk about their shadows or sh- doing shadow work or having a shadow self or a shadow part of us.

And I think that this term has originated in psychology, especially maybe from the work of Carl Jung, but we hear it a lot in spiritual communities, in ceremony circles, in the kind of facilitation work that we do, and of course, in mainstream traditional therapy as well. So I know you've come to the table excited to open this can of worms and see wh- see where all the rabbit trails go and what we can find.

What are shadows?

[00:14:16] Alex Negrete: That's a good question. Well, shadows, if we actually just think about the word shadow, it kind of assumes that there's a light, there's a light source, and then there's a dark part that is separate from the light. So from a non-dual perspective, it's, it's all one and the same, looking at things from really a holistic perspective, recognizing that these are all parts of the whole.

But from our experiential perspective, we experience that as there is a light part of us, and then there is a darker part of us. But just as a shadow will never go away as long as there's the light, this part of us is, is never going to go away. It's always gonna be part of us. But it's a part of us that in order to be whole and be healthy and happy and have the agency that we're looking for to be able to evolve intentionally, it would be asking us to look at it and understand it and potentially embrace it.

[00:15:31] Vision Battlesword: Yeah The way that I've heard people talk about shadows a lot is as if they're something bad. "Oh, that wasn't me. That was my shadow," or, "I've still got some shadows in there that I'm working on or that I'm trying to process." I think sometimes there can even be a sense of fear that people have surrounding that.

"Maybe I'm worried that my shadow's gonna come out." So I don't know, what do you think about that? It... Do, do you agree with me, first of all, that I guess in the popular culture or, like, maybe in, like, mainstream thinking, that that's generally how shadows are thought of, as a sort of, like, this scary thing or this thing that resides with inside of us that is not part of our best self, or that may be something that's fractured or wounded and distorted in some particular way?

Is that kind of how most people think of it?

[00:16:33] Alex Negrete: I would estimate so. I, I would estimate that the majority of the population, at, at the very least half, much likely way more, are- aren't even aware and, of the idea of a shadow and would not even believe or, or be at the point where they could even, like, connect to that idea, 'cause most people aren't even on more of a advanced mental health wavelength or even holistic health wavelength.

[00:17:05] Vision Battlesword: I see what you mean.

[00:17:06] Alex Negrete: Right? Yeah. But, but of the people that do, I would say that many people are bypassing it completely, which from my view is yes, it's because of fear. It's because of not being ready potentially to go down that path. And of the people that are able to accept and admit that this is something, there is a lot of fear around that.

Mm. And it's only, I would estimate, to be a very small percentage that would hear something like that and actually be more willing or receptive to- Mm-hmm ... explore that.

[00:17:42] Vision Battlesword: That's an interesting point. Yeah, I mean, uh, I think you're right that there's still, like, a whole lot of people who have never even been exposed to therapy or going into the depths of your own psychology and even seeing what's in there or having the terminology to describe it.

I think you're right. That's a really good point. But I think that for people who have heard the term shadow or shadows or have used it, I just have seen... What I've noticed is that it seems to be almost synonymous with, like, demon or monster. You know what I mean? Like, "Oh, I've got shadows." And that's not meant to...

meant as a good thing. It's not even meant as a neutral thing. But what I like to do a lot, a lot of times when we're parsing words out like this, is just go to the technical definition. You know, 'cause we use this word shadow as an analogy, to your point, like, oh, there's, like, a light side of us, and then there's this darker side of us, and these all may be different parts of our, of our holistic human, but some of them may not be visible.

But like, okay, well, what is a shadow? A shadow is the place where the light doesn't shine, right? Technically. Isn't a shadow a sort of negative image of... Like, if we were just to take it into 3D space, there's a light source, and then there's an object, and then whatever's behind the object where the light doesn't fall is the shadow.

But shadows are kind of weird in the sense that they're not actually a thing. They're like a thing that's not a thing. They're literally no thing So like, what do you think that means in terms of how we think of psychological shadows? Is there any relationship between those two things, or is it like the two things are actually completely different things and we're using just the same word for different concepts?

[00:19:35] Alex Negrete: That was really well said. I mean, you, you hit the nail on the head because you're right. It's like the shadow is, is the absence of light in a certain way because it, it has its own paradigm in which it, it functions that's completely devoid of light. But you're right, just like a shadow is in real life, it's an illusion, right?

Right. It's like it's not really... There's not really anything actually there. It's just a, a cast of the light being blocked.

[00:20:08] Vision Battlesword: Yeah. Have you studied any Jung, Carl Jung, to know, like, what his concept of the shadow was? 'Cause I, I have not, so I'm hoping you have, but...

[00:20:20] Alex Negrete: You know, I wish I, I had more because he is brilliant, and I've heard so many things that even I use that I know come from him.

But I really have not taken the time to dive really deep into his work, but I would like to because I know that there's so much there that he's created a foundation on that is connected to all this.

[00:20:45] Vision Battlesword: There's another way the word shadow is used. So I come from a technology background, as I'm sure you, you probably know that about me.

And there's a term in computing which is called shadow copy, and sometimes a shadow copy is as synonymous with the term snapshot. The concept of it is when you've got a file system with data on it, there's a way of taking a kind of a point-in-time image or imprint. Maybe people who, uh, who use Macintosh, Apple-type computers would think of this as like a time machine version, copy.

Or again, different computing systems use different terms for it. One of them is shadow And so I sometimes think of parts of ourself, psychological parts of ourself, as shadow copies in that way. Meaning, like, when we have a really strong emotional experience, a peak experience, could be traumatic, it could actually be transcendental.

But one way or another, when our nervous system gets activated in a particular way, it seems like our psychology has some evolutionary feature to save the state of that. Like, put in a special kind of memory that's like, "Don't forget this. In fact, don't forget this to the extent that let's actually split off a fully functional psychological replica of the self in this moment," like a snapshot or a shadow copy or a time machine backup.

And then that part can kind of, like, have its own existence somehow within us from that point forward. Th- th- I think that's another way that sometimes people think of what shadows are from a psychological perspective. Is that something you've ever encountered?

[00:22:36] Alex Negrete: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's interesting because, yeah, the...

Carl Jung, he... One of the things that I use frequently to even kind of understand the work that I'm doing and just the, the, the nature of subconscious work is really taking the subconscious and making it conscious. Mm. So you could say that these, these shadows exist in the subconscious, and they tend to split off, exactly like you mentioned, when it comes to self-preservation.

And that's where there's this interesting layer of that we are a species that's inherently motivated to survive and built on survival that dates back to probably when our earliest ancestors were some sort of amphibian-type creature that was living in the water, that is this, like, early, early part of the mind or the brain that's just this survival.

And when we get triggered or activated, it just goes back to that source that's like, at the end of the day, this is just about survival, right? Even genetically, even when we procreate, right? It's like there's this innate need and desire to replicate ourselves for survival and pass down our wisdom and our experiences to Children.

And all of that is for survival, it's for self-preservation. So it's fascinating how this is all connected, and it shows that there's some higher form of intelligence that we are connected to that activates, that takes the lead, that takes control when certain conditions are met. If we're in some type of life or death scenario, we're gonna have the adrenaline.

We're gonna have-- Things are gonna come online that we don't even know, and we're gonna get access to all these things because it's like, look, this is about survival, right? So it's fascinating when you look at it from that perspective that... I, I kinda think of this, an analogy I like to use is it's our own internal ChatGPT, right?

It's our own internal operating system that we, when you think of our entire genetic chain out of generation to generation to generation, how many generations, we're just one. But there's a bigger thing that's going on through that entire genetic tree, right? That program has been being built. You've already, whether that was gonna be you or not, you were gonna be you, little, with a little Y, regardless of you with a big Y, stepped in.

And that's where it goes more into past lives and incarnational philosophy. But it's like whether you were gonna be stepping in, if you look at it from that perspective as a soul to this body, it doesn't matter because that body was gonna be that body no matter what. Hmm. But if you are stepping into it and it's you versus potentially someone else influencing that trajectory.

[00:25:39] Vision Battlesword: Do you think that we can be carrying shadows from our ancestors, and do you think that we can pass our shadows on to our offspring or to the next generation?

[00:25:51] Alex Negrete: 110%.

[00:25:54] Vision Battlesword: 110%? Okay.

[00:25:56] Alex Negrete: It's so much of a yes, it's, it's a, of course. That's happening all the time.

[00:26:02] Vision Battlesword: Hmm.

[00:26:02] Alex Negrete: I mean, when you think about it, think about the first six years of your life that we aren't even remembering much at all.

We're just subconsciously sponging every single thing from our parents that are modeling things for us, that are projecting their own fears and thoughts and beliefs, and all of their stuff that they got from their parents and their parents, and their version of society in which they existed at that time.

And so it's interesting how this is all coming down to evolution, right? Yeah. We're sort of products of our environment, but that environment has layers to it. There's our immediate environment. There's our city, our state, our country, the world at that time, right? That's all impacting. So- Yeah. And the fact that we're even here sitting talking about it is amazing.

[00:26:53] Vision Battlesword: How so?

[00:26:55] Alex Negrete: Well, just to become self-aware enough to be able to notice it.

[00:26:59] Vision Battlesword: Right.

[00:27:00] Alex Negrete: Just when you notice something, I've, I've realized in the work that I do, it, it's, it's already beginning to break the pattern just seeing it. Right. Because as long as you can't see it, you're, you're a product of it. But the moment that you can see it, now there's the possibility of being able to do something about it.

[00:27:16] Vision Battlesword: Yeah. Well, maybe that's really what shadow work is all about. You know, as you've been talking, my brain, this is just kinda how my mind works, has just kind of been processing all of this information that these different ideas of shadows and the concept and associations that it has. And so as you've been talking, I've been kinda like creating this visualization in my mind of what a shadow actually really is psychologically speaking, or one interpretation of it, let's just say.

If we take the literal technical definition of what a shadow is, which is to say the place where the light doesn't fall because there's an object that's between a light source and the rest of the environment, we could kind of think of it that way 'cause what you're talking about, you're saying like, "Okay, yeah, we surely can pass our shadows on to generations.

We can inherit them from the generation before. We can pass them on to the generation to come next." And we may do that entirely because we don't know they're there. We're passing on our consciousness, but what's also coming with it is what is unconscious or subconscious, and we could call that the sort of invisible part of our overall psychology, which is because there's an object in the way, right?

It's like, what is the light when we say with respect to consciousness or with respect to our psychology? It's almost like the light is our awareness itself. It's what we can actually see from the scope of our experience, our, our subjective thinking process. That's the light. You could almost imagine that as something that we're projecting out even as we look around our own interior world.

But then there's objects in the way. We could call that our belief system or we could call that our mental constructs, structures. And so whatever's behind there, that's invisible. That's the part that we can't see. It's in our consciousness, but it's in the shadow. It's where the light doesn't fall. It's the part that we can't actually be aware of.

And so shadow work is sort of the process of moving our light source around to different perspectives or possibly removing those structures, those obstacles, so that we can cast our light in the space where the shadow formerly was being created. Am I getting anywhere?

[00:30:10] Alex Negrete: Yes. Yes, and I love how this connects to the idea of intentional evolution because you really have to have the intention to want to look at these things for them even to be able to be seen.

Because what I've learned is that this shadow part of us is its own intelligence that functions separately fr- from us in certain ways, and it's invested into you not seeing it.

[00:30:36] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

[00:30:37] Alex Negrete: Because that is what's gonna propagate its survival.

[00:30:41] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

[00:30:41] Alex Negrete: So as long as you're not seeing it, it's happy. It... 'Cause it gets to function, it gets to take care of you, it gets to take care of itself.

It's got the power, it's got the control. The second you start going and looking for it and asking questions, it's gonna resist Right? It's really interesting to frame it from that perspective. And that, and I've come into the truth of that so directly in my experience of re- really realizing that, that these parts of me do not want to be seen, and they don't want to go- Right.

Well,

[00:31:09] Vision Battlesword: that's... Sorry to interrupt. That's what makes them shadow parts. Now it's all starting to become more clear to me. Shadow parts are merely parts that are hiding in the shadows.

[00:31:20] Alex Negrete: Yes. Hiding, exactly.

[00:31:21] Vision Battlesword: Interesting.

[00:31:22] Alex Negrete: That's a great way to put it, because that's exactly what's happening. They're hiding, and they're not ready to be f- found until you're ready, in which case then they're gonna have to be.

[00:31:34] Vision Battlesword: And I love that you keep bringing this back to survival, because I think that's also a really, really salient point. You know, when I kind of was just going through my own, putting the pieces down on the table of, uh, anything and everything I've ever heard about shadows, and thinking about how parts, psychological parts may get created when we have these intense emotional experiences.

And to your point, yeah, that's exactly right. It's a, it almost certainly is a survival strategy to split off a part of us at that moment in time that can actually have this independent consciousness and this independent agency, at least to a certain degree, you know, within our overall psychological system, to remember that event, and then to be able to come back online as the agent, whenever anything similar may be seeming to occur, to say, "I know what to do here.

This is how I survived last time. This is what we're gonna do this time." But additionally, those parts themselves want to survive. They have their own survival instinct, and they may actually find safety for themselves in the shadows of our consciousness.

[00:32:48] Alex Negrete: Exactly. Yeah. This is so fascinating, and I feel like this is one of the most cutting edge topics that we could possibly be talking about when it comes to health and mental health, because it's something that Western medicine doesn't completely understand.

And I've been fortunate enough to work with certain clients that have had certain issues that have helped me see this much more clearly than I would have had I not worked with them. And so when you think about it, some of the most severe mental health issues I've noticed to be connected to this. So we can look at bipolar, borderline personality, schizophrenia, autoimmune.

Certain Western medicine and science doesn't fully understand this, but I understand it a little bit more from my perspective because I see the journeys that everyone is going on. And when you think about it, it's like, okay, bipolar or personality, it's that there is a severance that's happened. There's a split, usually due to guilt and shame, that is creating now two sides, and both sides don't feel safe with each other.

The shadow side does not feel safe with, with the light side, and the light side does not feel safe with the shadow side. So it's like a dysfunctional family that just needs to figure some stuff out to make you function and survive. But it's because you're not completely whole and integrated enough to have them play together.

So that's just two, right? But now schizophrenia is completely... Well, it's similar, but it's, it's more extreme. It's like now there's not just two parts, there's however many, right? 10 fragmented parts that are all playing along to try to, to try to get this person to feel safe and function. And autoimmune is, from my perspective, that's where it enters a transpersonal realm.

Because what I've learned working with some people who have had this is that it connects to multidimensional components of their consciousness that aren't just here. They're in other time periods. They're connected to other layers of their family tree that are all impacting them. And th- it's like think about a family at war with itself internally.

That's autoimmune. That's why literally Western science has said the body is attacking itself Right? I'm not gonna claim to be anywhere near an expert or knowledgeable enough to, to say much more than I, than I've already said. But I can just say that this is fascinating, and I've been working with more clients like this, and with every single person, I get a little bit more of the picture.

And it's so interesting. It all connects to this, the survival.

[00:35:40] Vision Battlesword: Hmm. Yeah. Well, if you're open to it, I personally feel that we've sort of explored the concept in a general term to a degree where I'm, I feel satisfied l- or, or in the sense that I'm... I, like, feel very warmed up and, like, ready to kinda get our hands a little bit more dirty with this concept.

And if you're open to it, I would like to kind of invite you to revisit, to whatever degree you feel comfortable, where we got this topic from originally, as you recall, is that about six weeks ago, we were having a conversation, and you were reflecting about some stuff that was happening for you and some stuff that was coming up for you, and this idea of shadows was, like, a central theme.

And we were like, "We should really sit down and dig into this," 'cause this is, like you said, cutting edge, really, stuff, I think, that we're exploring. So yeah, are you open to just sharing at any level about, like, your personal experience recently with shadows and, like, y- maybe using that as a, a, an avenue to get even deeper into this whole concept?

[00:36:51] Alex Negrete: 100%. Uh, yeah. H- I'm happy to. And, and it's interesting because this is so intimately connected to my personal journey, this conversation and everything that we're getting into, because some of the core themes throughout my life that are connected to my shadow have to do with vulnerability and visibility, which is exactly what this is.

Right? Yep. Being vulnerable, but also this going out to people and being visible-

[00:37:17] Vision Battlesword: Right ...

[00:37:17] Alex Negrete: that have been a fear of mine because there has been that seed of a fear of rejection. So that's thankfully what this is connected to that I'm overcoming, which is allowing me to feel more comfortable to talk about this, 'cause I know I feel that it's It's what I need to heal interestingly.

By talking about it, it's healing for me.

[00:37:40] Vision Battlesword: And probably for a lot of other people too, you know, because I think we have similar experiences, and I think that what you're revealing is something that is very relatable to me and probably to a lot of other people. And so yeah, I'm just... I'm really excited and grateful, you know, for you to be willing to use yourself almost as a case study for, like, okay, what is going on with these shadows when this sort of stuff comes up?

And then it almost feels like there's a part of me that's not me, or there's something that I'm almost in tension with or conflict with that doesn't feel like me, and yet who else could it be? Or where else is it coming from? And what is that shadow that I'm facing right now? So I think so many people can receive the benefit of walking with you on your journey.

[00:38:34] Alex Negrete: Yeah. Well, thank you, and I, I am grateful for you for inviting this conversation and, and seeing that in me to, to ask to speak about this. Everyone is going through this on some level.

[00:38:49] Vision Battlesword: So what is this?

[00:38:51] Alex Negrete: Yeah. I would say what I mean by this is fragmentation of, of self that a small... of self with a small S that come together to be our Self with a big S, if that makes sense.

But for me, so this is so connected to my whole story and journey, which I could talk for two hours about. I've done it before, so I'm gonna shorten it. But You'll see how this is all connected. So whenever I was in high school, I started posting videos to YouTube. This was back in 2007. YouTube was brand new at the time, and I took it seriously because creators could start making money.

Uh, that was the first time that that was even possible on social media at that time. And then I saw that people immediately were starting to make six figures, and I just happened to be right place at right time with all the time in the world to pursue this and everything, the stars just aligned. So I committed to it.

Well, yada yada, within two to three years, I was one of the biggest YouTubers at that point in time, one of the top 100 in the world. Number 84, I think, is what I was at my peak, which these days, I mean, I had 600,000 subscribers. You only needed that much, which is still a lot, but you only needed that much to be number 84.

Now it's like, what? I don't know, probably 100 million or whatever. But anyway, so here I am, YouTuber, creating videos. That's my life. And then I get diagnosed with cancer, testicular cancer, and that was so traumatic for me. I did not know that it was as traumatic for me at the time because probably just like going to war, you just put up the wall and you just go through it and you don't think much of it But what happened is that it created this massive fracture and fragmentation in me, in my personality, that created this severance between this younger version of me, this younger part that was this YouTube creator filled with joy and fun and just going through life, you know, mid-20s, n-no responsibilities, y- you know, just living the life, right?

Being a kid. And then now I'm getting faced with this very real threat to my survival, which is interesting. Again, I'm connecting more of the dots just talking about it. And so to be safe, I had to kind of put up a wall between that part, because what I had determined at the time was that the reason I got the cancer was because of that younger self.

But in a certain way, whether it's true or not, a part of me, some greater part, the adult part we could say, had determined that I was not on my right path, and the reason I got cancer was so I could get on my right path. So it determined that that younger version of me was unsafe, was actually going to lead straight to my destruction.

So a wall needed to be built, and I needed to now keep that part in a box, and we have to manage this part now. But I still was missing something on a deeper level. I was still, like, kind of, sort of depressed in a way, because I was so sad that I just didn't feel that connection to myself. I didn't feel something deeper.

And that allowed me to come into contact with DMT, which opened me up to that there could potentially be way more going on here than I was aware about. But basically, in a nutshell, that shifted me to being on more of a spiritual path at that point, 'cause now I was asking the questions, "Okay, well, what else is out there?

I- is there more than just what I see on the surface of just making a bunch of money and just having a job? And i- is there certain things that would provide me more connection and fulfillment in terms of a deeper faith?" There was another more spiritual, this more open part of me that was expanding into being curious a- about a lot of this type of work, about healing, about spirituality, about what else is out there, consciousness, about deeper connections and belonging and community and all this type stuff.

And, uh, 'cause I was living in Los Angeles at the time, so I moved to Austin, and it was here that I actually really opened up to this idea of moving into this type of space. It became a very clear knowing that in order for me to really intentionally evolve the way that I wanted to, I would need to start figuring out how to work in this space.

I would need to figure out how to-- I couldn't be doing a regular job, 'cause then I would be getting away from it, and I wanted to do something that I would be around it all the time. And in that year, that's when hypnotherapy came to me, and it really revealed itself as one of the authentic ways of healing, of self-healing, of healing ourselves that I d- had no clue of at the time, but then I, I realize and, and I experiment with it.

I got the certification. I started working with clients and, and then it really picked up, and it really showed me how legit it really was that this was really working. And not only was it working for others, but it was, it was working for me. It was helping me. I was healing myself in the process, and it was showing me so directly that the path to healing is to look within.

And that's, that, that's how I kind of view hypnotherapy really is just, it's a fast lane. It's like turning the lens within and then going to where you can go as fast as possible. Uh, there's so many great modalities, uh, that you can use, different somatic techniques or even plant medicines I did ayahuasca for the first time, and in that ceremony, I literally s- was able to see in the visions this part of me that I couldn't see before.

It showed me that literally in the vision. I was seeing this part of me that was hiding from me that was literally like, "Ah, I'm scared of being seen, and now I'm being seen." Like, it was like literally like, like that. And when I explored this part, I r- it was revealing itself to be this very self-critical part.

This like perf- all the perfection, the, the self-criticism, but perfection and s- and, and criticism's okay, but this was m- a more destructive way of it. It was extreme, and it was very harmful, and not only was it hurting me, but it was hurting others that I cared about. It was affecting my past relationship.

It was the part of the reason that why I c- I could not bring that relationship to a place of wholeness the way that I would, would have liked to. It was also showing me how it was affecting relationships with other people, my, my friends and, and it just wreaking havoc on things that were not what I would have wanted, and I had to really take a look at that, and that's when I realized that this is, this is ugly.

This is just an ugly part of me, and I have to see it, and it was holding it up to me being like, "You can't not look at this. You gotta look at this." And I was just like, "You're right. Like, I don't wanna look at this, but I gotta own up to it." And so through that process, it's like, okay, well, you know what you need to do next.

It's like, okay, I know I need to bring this part to the light. Uh, you know, and it was, it was creating a space for me to do that, and that was the first time when all that knowledge and kind of what I had learned about parts work and all this stuff, that was really the first time, and that was... So it's still pretty recent for me, and that was like 2024, right?

When it, when I started to really realize how, how true this was. So to catch us up to where we are today, recently I met someone, and she has really been opening me up in new ways, and through needing to be more vulnerable in this relationship, it's allowed me-- it's kind of created a pathway to re-access this younger part that was severed originally when I had the testicular cancer, and that's what we were talking about was it was all coming to light.

That's again, right? This stuff is so insidious, you don't even know. I didn't even... Uh, I wasn't aware of any of this until six weeks ago, pretty much. And then I, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, uh, this has been going on for since, like for 12 plus years, and I'm only recognizing it now." But how beautiful, again, because the fact that I was seeing it had now created a pathway to bring that together.

So that's why I'm now just such a fundamental believer that once you can start seeing this stuff clearly, you can do something about it. But until that point You're at the mercy of it.

[00:47:31] Vision Battlesword: It was your new relationship that prompted this part to manifest again in a way that became unavoidable, like as in your ayahuasca ceremony where you, you could see it now and it w- it was not able to hide anymore, or it came into the forefront of your experience.

[00:47:51] Alex Negrete: Yeah. Yeah. I think it was really the, the vulnerability piece because in my previous relationship, it wasn't as vulnerable. It didn't really require me to be that vulnerable. So I'd never really been in a relationship that really was asking a lot of vulnerability of me, and this one now was, and it was really activating things within my heart that were helping me connect to that part of me.

And so practically what that looked like is she was going to karaoke, and I just felt so much resistance around that, and it was connected to this idea of maybe putting myself out there or, or being vulnerable. But sexually, you know, the, the, the reality is that things were coming up here too, you know, resistance around-- There was some sort of block within me that was, like, scared of getting hurt or scared of being exposed or...

See, that is the tricky thing w-with things like this, is that when they're so deeply connected to who you are and you don't see them for so long It's just like it's hard to understand. It's easier for me to sometimes see things in others than it is for myself.

[00:49:05] Vision Battlesword: That's really interesting, that choice of words, when you say that it's really deeply connected to who you are based on how you defined yourself at the very beginning of the conversation.

Is this part really deeply connected to who you are, or is that a part of the false self?

[00:49:22] Alex Negrete: Well, here is the interesting thing, because from my belief system of being a soul that's having incarnations, I've come to realize that this is deeply connected to some sort of a soul experience that I've chosen to have, because when you get an illness like that or anything severe at a really young age, in my philosophy, things manifest physically when they've been existing in, you know, the emotional and mental and different levels, and it takes time, and/or you brought this in or chose to experience this.

So for me, that was a whole nother layer on it, to recognize that this is potentially something that is more to do with my soul than it is me as a person in, in this life.

[00:50:06] Vision Battlesword: No, I think that's a key point. Like what you just spoke into feels like a really key point to me, uh, in this whole shadow concept of everything we've been talking about, about how maybe parts of ourself get fragmented off, and those are essentially survival strategies, or rather those parts of us happen maybe in survival moments.

Perhaps they're meant to create survival strategies that in your own personal experience, like what came up for you in-- recently through this relationship, which is It's so funny, my partner and I were just talking about this this morning, or we were talking this morning about relationships in general and how healing they can be and how, how growth-oriented they can be, and we actually even made the joke, like this relationship is actually better than ayahuasca.

The, the, the one that we're having, my partner and I. It's like this is actually better than ayahuasca. It's like being on ayahuasca like every day. Not to say that I'm tripping out and having visualizations, but in the sense of seeing the reflections of my shadows and getting an opportunity to work and play with them and integrate them and like the productive parts of ayahuasca, you know?

And so I think it's just so beautiful, poignant, and interesting that that's what's been happening for you as well, is that through this initiation of a beautiful relationship, which is really actually growth-oriented, and it sounds like very, you know, mutually beneficial for both of you, you and, you and your partner, that it's bringing things to the surface just exactly in the same way that ayahuasca did for you previously.

But in those things coming to the surface You're starting to get more clarity. You're starting to get more awareness. You're starting to see these things are stepping out of the shadows, and you're starting to get to be able to actually see and witness them. And then that, as you've described it, that's the first step to healing, to growth, to reintegration, to whatever it is that we wanna do with these things so that they're not running us from behind the scenes.

And this particular part you described as very critical. You've also used the word ugly to describe this part. And then you've said that in your view, what needs to be done is to bring this part into the light. And I wanted to ask that q- w- the question I wanted to ask was, what does that actually mean?

[00:52:33] Alex Negrete: Yeah, that's a great question. And so kind of what it's been culminating for me lately to give me the most clarity on it is that why was a part of me even seeking fame or fortune or whatever it was to begin with? And it's this accor- of course, what I've learned now is this deep fear of rejection, but ultimately it's like there's this void that I've kind of identified.

And I'm not gonna say that all celebrities or people that are seeking fame or fortune for the sake of it are like that because I, I don't... I can't say that, and I don't know. But I do know for at least me, that's w-what it was underneath the surface. It was like I wasn't able to provide love for myself, so I was seeking that love from everything outside.

And what was gratifying me was to have 600,000 people loving what I was doing. I couldn't hold the container for all of them, and that's what I've had to learn too. That's gonna answer this next question. But ultimately, that was fueling all my motivations at that point underneath the surface, running me with the alcohol, the partying, the extreme life that I was living, and things like that, all f- trying to fill this void that just wasn't really doing at the deepest levels because I wasn't able to provide that for myself.

And this is probably the one of the most vulnerable things that I could share at this point because in the last couple weeks when I'm really processing this, you know, in meditation and, and just working with myself, I had the idea to look myself in the mirror and ask myself, "How do I feel about the person that I'm seeing in the mirror?"

And it was like, it was almost like one of those cancer moments. I, I was like, I looked in the mirror, and for some reason, there was a part of me that like was wanting to look away. It was like there was a part of me that like was seeing somebody who was, like, should be rejected, right? Or like should sh- is like a failure, right?

And so that may be a deeper truth when we have these fear of rejections or fear of failures, that maybe some part of us is actually rejecting ourselves. And I just... It was, it was so healing to look in the mirror and be like, "Do I see a failure?" Like, "Do I see a reject?" You know?

[00:54:42] Vision Battlesword: Wow, that's so interesting.

So what I'm hearing is that At some point in your life, being extremely visible, even seeking attention, drawing it to you, was a survival strategy. But then at some point, you fractured, a new part of you split off and created the belief or came to the conclusion that actually that behavior was deeply, deeply unsafe to your survival, was dangerous, in fact, could get you literally killed

[00:55:15] Alex Negrete: Yes

[00:55:16] Vision Battlesword: through cancer or whatever other kind of risky behavior. And now that part has been living inside you ever since then in the shadows- Mm-hmm ... trying to make sure that you never, ever do that again. And so now not being visible, not being seen, staying almost in the shadows yourself, you're almost mirroring that behavior of that shadow part, is your new survival strategy.

But now in this new relationship where you're being invited into a new kind of vulnerability, a new kind of visibility, being really, truly, deeply seen, not by 600,000 strangers, but by one person who actually really cares about you and is interested in you, wants to intimately know you, that is now bringing this part back to the surface for reconsideration or reintegration in a way of like, "Okay, wait a second Is it safe to be seen?

Who am I? Am I someone that I actually like when I look in the mirror? This has kind of been the process for you. But that, but anyway, what I was just trying to say is that that's really fascinating for me about how being seen, being witnessed has gone from, like, dramatically opposite extremes of whether it makes you safe or makes you less safe.

[00:56:34] Alex Negrete: Yeah, you just nailed it because ironically it was, like, also the part of me that was the YouTuber that wanted that had to be in the shadows too. So there was, there was a bunch of parts in the shadows. There was the part that was keeping that at bay and there was the part that was being kept at bay. Mm.

But you're right, and, and that's what I realized too, that it's like you could be visible by 600,000 people but not be really seen by them.

[00:57:01] Vision Battlesword: Right.

[00:57:02] Alex Negrete: Versus you being seen by just one person, 'cause you're, you're absolutely right, and that's why I needed you to ask the questions and keep going because that was what triggered this to start coming out, is that now I needed to...

I was actually being really seen-

[00:57:15] Vision Battlesword: Yeah ...

[00:57:16] Alex Negrete: by just one person, and that caused everything to unravel. 'Cause even in my last relationship, we were engaged and we were together for, the whole arc of that relationship was 12 years, and I was not fully seen. It, it, that wasn't what was unraveling things. So it's, it's...

Isn't that wild to think about, that you could be seen by hundreds of thousands or potentially millions and millions of people, but not actually be really seen?

[00:57:45] Vision Battlesword: Yeah, because whoever that is in the videos that people are witnessing, interacting with, consuming the content of, that's not actually really you.

That's-

[00:57:55] Alex Negrete: It's a hologram ...

[00:57:56] Vision Battlesword: it's a hologram. That's a character th- that you play. That's a projection. And that's not answering the actual real question of who are you, Alex Negrete, right?

[00:58:06] Alex Negrete: Exactly. Exactly. And it's influenced a lot of how I'd even wanna do social media again, because this is connected to as well, is this feeling of being able to sort of hold a container.

Like, all these parts could fragment off because they're trying to hold us, but just hold us together. So that's been the biggest fear of mine as well, not only rejection, but can I hold these containers? Can I hold myself? Can I hold myself together if stuff gets rocky with my life? Can I hold a relationship together?

If, if something happens, is this relationship gonna fall apart? If I put myself out there on social media and if I can't hold myself together, how am I gonna hold this container for these people that are coming in? And so I'm still understanding it, but there is something with all this that's connected to, to holding it all together, to holding us together.

And that's where I've been seeing the improvements, is by doing this inner work and by bringing these shadow parts to light and holding them and holding compassion and holding forgiveness and holding appreciation, your nervous system begins to relax, and that's what's happening for me.

[00:59:20] Vision Battlesword: So what you're saying is that a key frame shift is switching from allowing your parts to hold you to you holding your parts, you holding the container for yourself, for your parts, which is I guess your capital Y you, your capital S Self, your, your witnessing awareness, whatever that is, the part that's not a part.

But, like, that's a shift. That's a dramatic shift that people can experience in their life, is realizing, "Oh, man, all this time my parts have been holding me, but it's actually for me to hold them." And I'm also realizing, like, in this parallel between this part of you that was hiding in the shadow and not feeling safe to be seen, and then you in your external manifestation, your behavior in the world, mirroring that shadow dance.

I'm recognizing now the way that our shadow parts kind of almost puppeteer us. We're not even aware that they're there because they're behind whatever obstacle, whether it's a belief system or a sh- a story structure or a wall that we actually just put up because we don't wanna know what's back there.

But yet as they dance in the shadow, we dance in the external world as they're kind of pulling on these energetic strings within our psychology. We're not even aware of it. So that's just all very fascinating to me. And so finally, I want you to answer the question that, you know, you originally brought up this statement of, "Well, what I need to do is I need to start bringing these parts into the light."

And what does that exactly mean? What is the light that we bring the parts into, and what happens when we do that?

[01:01:01] Alex Negrete: Great question. That's, that's the meat and potato. That's where all this is heading, right? Is where does the rubber meet the road here? So this is as far as I've gotten right now, because this is something that is still relatively new for me.

But the answer that I have right now is, from my perspective, what I've been finding to work with me and to work with my clients is, number one, holding them in your awareness. So that's connected to this idea of seeing them clearly. Like, even us talking about this right now is kind of an act of that, 'cause anyone listening is gonna be thinking about themselves, and that right there is gonna be exposing some of these parts.

So even that alone is shifting things. This conversation's gonna be shifting things for probably most people that are even listening to it.

[01:01:49] Vision Battlesword: I mean, it's giving me perspective on things that have ha- been happening for me today.

[01:01:53] Alex Negrete: There we

[01:01:53] Vision Battlesword: go. You know? So, like, yes, it's working.

[01:01:55] Alex Negrete: Yes, exactly. That's the magic of this in a certain way.

So even just being aware of it-- But you could listen to this, and then you could go on your life and that's that, right? Holding that in your awareness is much different. And what happens is that you can actually recognize yourself as separate from those parts. So you get out of the little you of the parts, and you get into the big you, the, with the big why.

Think of it the s- I think of it the same, is that when we instantly get triggered or anything, by anything in life, what we're wanting to do for ourself is create separation, create that space. If we can even give ourselves a few minutes or an hour or something to just create that space, we can start to s- see that a little clearly.

We're, we're acting from the, the you with the big why. So that's number one, because instantly right there, you're gonna start recognizing things. You're gonna start noticing things. In the work that I do, it's called the pattern interrupt. That's what I would say is number one. But number two is holding it in your heart, holding it from a space of compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, appreciation, could just be understanding.

But what you're really doing is you're holding yourself in your heart, and that's what needs to happen, because the only thing that's fueling these parts that allows them to be separate and in the shadows is that that energy is not there, which goes back to non-duality. So this is why this, this practice is a very high spiritual practice, really, 'cause it's shifting you from having that duality focused within to moving into stepping out of that.

So-- And that's just in my personal story, right? I was rejecting myself. I wasn't completely loving myself. I was... Who knows why, right? But whatever reason why it was happening, it might not have been what I would be choosing, but it was my program

[01:03:49] Vision Battlesword: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I, I just really wanna put my finger on something.

But have you tried talking to your shadow part, this one that is apparently surfacing fear of rejection, which is apparently the deeper level of fear of visibility or fear of vulnerability, which apparently is also maybe a deeper level of whatever this manifestation of angst was that originally came out when you started exploring this deeper level of intimacy with a new partner, a new relationship?

Okay, so I'm, like, kind of go-- I'm, like, reversing the layers as I understand them, as I'm, like, recalling them of what you've told me. So eventually, we get down to fear of rejection, which is, like, the deepest layer that has come out recently. Have you actually tried having a relationship with your part or with this shadow, this piece that was originally, like, tormenting you, and then little by little you've now been starting to just see, witness, bring into the light, getting closer and closer to this reintegration, which maybe has already happened recently?

[01:04:55] Alex Negrete: Yeah. I've started to. Yeah, absolutely, and I needed to make somewhat of a breakthrough in that relationship to even have the breakthrough. But at the same time, probably not as much as, as I could. Okay. Um, that's, I think, a relationship that's now being formed and nurtured now because it's only been really the last couple months that, that I've had the opportunity to now have a relationship with.

So in a certain way, yes, I appreciate this part. This part has a lot of good, good qualities to it. It's very go-getter-ish. It's what allows me to have so much energy of putting things out there. You know, it, it... I, I kinda look at it as like it's, it's the human part of me. 'Cause I look at the other, the other part mainly as more of this, like, spiritual, more identification around spirituality and around being more on a spiritual path, whereas this part is more connected to me being human and relatable.

So that's why a little tagline I came up with for my bio is, like, "Your friendly neighborhood hypnotherapist." Like, s- your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, right? Yeah. Because it's like if you just look at Spider-Man, that person could feel so different. I, I don't know if I like to use, like, superheroes as, as an example 'cause that feels very ego-ish, but that is a good example of just this two sides.

It's like you got the Clark Kent, you got the Superman. It's like some sort of version of them that looks a certain way but also has this human side underneath.

[01:06:20] Vision Battlesword: Interesting. Is Superman the shadow of Clark Kent? Is Spider-Man the shadow of Peter Parker?

[01:06:27] Alex Negrete: Well, in this case, in this case for me, it would be, it would be Peter Parker would be the shadow of Spider-Man.

Or Clark Kent would be the s- the shadow of Superman, because Clark Kent would be the human side that could, gets with Lois and doesn't even want to be Superman anymore, so he threatens Superman's survival, right? It's like that's kind of the idea. Like at least how I relate to it, because that's the analogy for me, is that if there's a version of the hypnotherapist or the good and pure and the under- underneath version, the Alex Negrete outside of that is more driven towards his own ego in certain ways, right?

Was like trying to get a bunch of followers and for certain reasons and-

[01:07:07] Vision Battlesword: Yeah. Right. Well, I, that's a really fun idea to me to explore.

[01:07:12] Alex Negrete: Yeah.

[01:07:12] Vision Battlesword: Just from that superhero paradigm, that Superman is the shadow of Clark Kent. Like, that's just the brain teaser, but it's really interesting, I don't know, to me, to noodle on that for a second.

[01:07:25] Alex Negrete: Noodle on it. I mean, that, that, that's a valid perspective that's probably true as well.

[01:07:30] Vision Battlesword: It's an interesting... Well, maybe we can take a detour, explore that, and then bring it back around to your situation and see if we've, like, learned anything or, like, created any insight. But I, I still wanna follow this thread about talking to your parts just a little bit further.

Do you believe that having a conversation with your parts can be a way of inviting them out of the shadows and into the light? Is that, like, a part of how we... And, you know, to your point, again, just coming back to your statement that you made, "I need to bring these parts into the light." That was what you told me.

I'm like, "Okay, great. How do we do that? Or what does that even mean?" And coming back to my frame about if the light is the scope of our conscious awareness, then I think one of the, the tools or techniques that's been really valuable for me and also in my practice is inviting myself and my clients to start to try to have a, a relationship with their parts, starting with just getting in touch with them conversationally and asking them, for example, like, "What is your story about fear of rejection?"

Because when you were sharing that previously, I, I can't remember what the question exactly was that I asked, but you started saying, "Well, even deeper than fear of rejection is all that stuff." But that narrative that came out while you were just kind of extemporaneously speaking sounded to me like the belief system of your part more so than the belief system of your capital Y, you, capital S self.

And I was just curious if, like, that new awareness or that level of awareness of what your part wants to tell you has come from you actually trying to have a conversation with it or work with it in any way.

[01:09:18] Alex Negrete: Yeah. I'm really glad that you brought this up because this isn't my forte when it comes to, to this work of, of doing the, the direct work with the parts.

But I have had... Actually, my partner was doing that for me a little bit, and it was, it was working very, very well. And I have learned about that, and so I have awareness of it that, yes, this is probably one of, if not the best way to actually work with these parts is direct inquiry to the parts, and I have that, found that to be so valuable.

So when I'm answering, I'm basically answering from this r- version of me that's rationalizing around it. But I'm not really answering from the direct part.

[01:09:56] Vision Battlesword: I got you.

[01:09:57] Alex Negrete: Right? Yeah. But I could if... Like, it is possible because if you close your eyes, you're instantly activating, 'cause when you close your eyes, you go into the subconscious just naturally.

And so if you were to ask me the same question with me closing my eyes and calling forth the part, I'll c- give you, uh, the actual answer.

[01:10:13] Vision Battlesword: Are you open to it?

[01:10:14] Alex Negrete: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Do you

[01:10:15] Vision Battlesword: wanna talk to your part?

[01:10:16] Alex Negrete: Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay.

[01:10:19] Vision Battlesword: So this shadow part of you, how do you experience it? Does it come up for you as a feeling?

Does it come up for you... Do you see anything in your mind's eye? Does it have, like, a visual impression? Does it speak to you in words or thoughts? Like, how do you know the part is there?

[01:10:39] Alex Negrete: It's more of speaking to me in impulses. It's like a first impulse 'cause it's, this part is very... It's like that go-getter, but it's kind of like the, the first action.

It's this, it's very quick. So sometimes it's my first impulse. But the way that I kind of see it in my mind is really just, I kind of view it as my, my former self. I view it as, I view this as me. It's just, like, this younger, kind of fiery, mischievous, totally willing to embrace the dark, whereas I am not.

Yeah.

[01:11:15] Vision Battlesword: Interesting. Cool. Okay. So you see kind of in your mind's eye yourself at a younger age.

[01:11:22] Alex Negrete: Mm-hmm.

[01:11:22] Vision Battlesword: Can you see about how old you are?

[01:11:25] Alex Negrete: It is about 21, 22, which was the age when all that happened to me. So it's about that age.

[01:11:32] Vision Battlesword: Okay. Great. Does your part have a name other than Alex?

[01:11:38] Alex Negrete: Well, my, my- How

[01:11:38] Vision Battlesword: does it know itself?

[01:11:39] Alex Negrete: my username at that moment was Keep the Heat. Uh-huh. And I feel like my part really identifies with that, is like, just keep that fire going. It's this fire, it's, like, kind of like a fiery...

[01:11:50] Vision Battlesword: Okay.

[01:11:50] Alex Negrete: Yeah. So, like, that's how I view it in my mind.

[01:11:52] Vision Battlesword: All right. Would it like to be known as Heat, just to-

[01:11:56] Alex Negrete: Yeah ...

[01:11:57] Vision Battlesword: keep things simple, keep things easy?

What does Heat want you to know? What does Heat have to tell you or have to share with you if you were to just ask, like, "Hey, Heat, is there anything you want to tell me in this moment right now, or is there anything you want me to know?"

[01:12:15] Alex Negrete: It's that he has my highest and best interest at heart.

[01:12:21] Vision Battlesword: Okay. What is your highest and best interest from Heat's perspective?

[01:12:29] Alex Negrete: To accomplish our goals.

[01:12:32] Vision Battlesword: Okay. Is there anything that he wants to tell you about rejection?

[01:12:40] Alex Negrete: He's terrified of it.

[01:12:42] Vision Battlesword: Yeah. Why is rejection scary? '

[01:12:47] Alex Negrete: Cause that would be a failure of reaching the goal. What's the goal? To be accepted for whatever the goal is, to be embraced or to be loved.

[01:13:04] Vision Battlesword: Hmm. Okay. So to be rejected means to not be accepted and to not be loved, and that's scary?

[01:13:14] Alex Negrete: Yes.

[01:13:15] Vision Battlesword: Okay. How does Heat feel about having this conversation with you right now? Is he open to it? Is he feeling good about it? Feels good.

[01:13:23] Alex Negrete: Wants to, wants to, wants this not to be a, a hindrance.

[01:13:29] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

What do you wanna tell Heat about what's been coming up for you around rejection and how you feel about his presence in your life?

[01:13:43] Alex Negrete: Well, rejection is painful, and it's not gonna destroy me. It, it can really affect me, but it won't destroy me. And it seems like Heat would be worried that it would completely destroy us.

And so I just want him to know that it's not gonna destroy us. And if it happens, which it will, because there's no way you can be any type of public presence and make everyone happy. That's something that can be developed is h- is being able to navigate through that. Hmm. Nice. And how's

[01:14:28] Vision Battlesword: Heat receiving that?

Or does he have any response?

[01:14:32] Alex Negrete: He understands it. He, he's a little worried about how it will feel, but he, he understands it, and he says essentially it's gonna take some time for him to kind of, like see that and allow that to smooth over, because it's kind of like rebuilding trust. Like, the more that he sees it and the more that he'll believe it.

But he does believe it, but it's more that it just needs to be seen in action and to be embodied.

[01:15:03] Vision Battlesword: Hmm. What would meaningful embodiment of that safety, even within rejection, what would that look like from Heat's perspective? What would he like to see? Or how would he know that that's true?

[01:15:24] Alex Negrete: More of a confidence or a capability or of a c- a calmness around moments that would be stimulating or triggering that sort of wound.

So even this is one of them, th- what we're doing here today is actually showing that it is okay, because maybe normally or in other scenarios or in the past, I might have been nervous about this or speaking about it. And so even something like this, like being calm, being open, being willing to speak on it, is, is building that.

So that seems to be the case, is just showing up, doing it time and time again. So I think it's like that with this. It's just that the wound needs to be continuously practiced, if that makes sense.

[01:16:09] Vision Battlesword: Sure. Yeah. I just wanna-- You asked me to poke a little bit, so is that okay?

[01:16:15] Alex Negrete: Mm-hmm.

[01:16:16] Vision Battlesword: So what about danger? What about survival?

Is there anything other than the fear of kind of the rejection and losing acceptance and love, is there anything that this particular shadow part of you, Heat, age 21, is afraid of in terms of your actual literal life and death survival?

[01:16:44] Alex Negrete: Well, well, let me think for a... Let me, let me just be with this, 'cause I think what's coming actually through is... Yeah, okay, no, I, I think what it is, what's k- what's kind of what I'm feeling is that it's like the fear would be that if this other part of me, the more, the part that w- was moving forward would become too, too expansive that it would squish them out completely, or that, that it was just gonna keep going away and keep going away and getting less and less and less until finally it was just gone.

[01:17:21] Vision Battlesword: You mean like heat? That part- Yeah ... would get just kind of like erased-

[01:17:26] Alex Negrete: Yeah ...

[01:17:26] Vision Battlesword: out of existence.

[01:17:27] Alex Negrete: Yeah.

[01:17:28] Vision Battlesword: Interesting. Okay.

[01:17:30] Alex Negrete: Which is the path that I was on pretty much

[01:17:33] Vision Battlesword: The spiritual path? Is

[01:17:34] Alex Negrete: that what you mean? Yeah, but also the path of just leaving behind that version

[01:17:38] Vision Battlesword: of me. Yeah. Interesting. So,

[01:17:40] Alex Negrete: yeah.

[01:17:40] Vision Battlesword: But the idea of stepping back out into the world with more visibility has kind of brought that part back online, because that is that part of you, that, that part with the drive, with the motivation, with maybe, at least at that age, a little bit more impulsivity, but also a little bit more risky behavior that's connected to that moment in your life of that big fracture when the survival was real.

[01:18:08] Alex Negrete: Yeah. And that's the fear, is that if I bring this back, is it gonna lead to the same thing happening again?

[01:18:17] Vision Battlesword: Right. So what does Heat have to say about that?

[01:18:22] Alex Negrete: Seems like, like he's learning, too. He can now see more of the value in going about it in a more in- you know, coming back to intentional evolution, in a more intentional way.

Because what was happening in the past, it wasn't super intentional. It was, like, really not that intentional when you really think about it. It was just-- It was like having rocket fuel but not having a compass. You're just having this rocket just blasting off in some direction, but you haven't even decided where you wanna go or how you're gonna do it, and it's like almost like that part, he's, like, learning, "Okay, it's good to have the compass."

That's why he's, like, more willing to, to play ball, especially now that he's being accepted.

[01:19:06] Vision Battlesword: Cool. You're holding him now, and he can kind of feel that.

[01:19:12] Alex Negrete: Yeah, exactly. Whereas before, he wasn't being held. He was being cast out.

[01:19:17] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm.

[01:19:18] Alex Negrete: It was like, "We're holding everything else but you." Like, "We don't want you here," right?

It's like literally rejecting, like...

[01:19:26] Vision Battlesword: Well, that makes so much sense why Heat in particular would be carrying a deep fear of rejection, and that it would be connected with self-rejection, and that Heat would, in particular, be desiring acceptance and love and worried about losing that, because that is exactly what was happening within you.

[01:19:49] Alex Negrete: Exactly. And then when I looked in the mirror, it's like I, on the surface, see Alex looking at Alex not accepting himself. But really what it is, it's like Alex- Looking at heat not being accepted, and so that's causing Alex to, like, feel that way and, like, look, y- right? Something like that.

[01:20:09] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm. '

[01:20:10] Alex Negrete: Cause it's not really me not accepting myself, but it is.

But it's-- But if you look at it from a parts perspective, it's like the big me not accepting all parts.

[01:20:21] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm.

[01:20:22] Alex Negrete: But because of that, the big me experiences it as not accepting self.

[01:20:27] Vision Battlesword: Right. Right. Cool. Cool awareness. So this conversation, short as it has been, and of course with all of the distractions of recording and equipment and everything else going on, but do you find this type of, um, self-inquiry and self-dialogue useful for helping those parts to come into the light?

[01:20:53] Alex Negrete: So powerful. I would have to recommend that anyone, you know, work with you or work with anyone that does this work if they're, um, familiar with it, because even right then, I'm feeling so much energy in my heart, like so much heart expansion energy, and I'm even like-- I even had some, like, not full-on tears, but I could feel like that there was, like, some activity happening, right, in my, um, eyes, because you can feel things coming together.

And how, and how easy is it, right, in a certain way to access these parts? They're, they're here. It doesn't take a lot of effort to access them. Now, the skill, there is a lot of skill to knowing what to ask and having the, the experience of how to work with them. But in terms of being able to bring them to the surface, they, they're already here.

[01:21:42] Vision Battlesword: I mean, I think that it's very intuitive, or it can be. Certainly, there is specific training in systems like internal family systems, which is the classic sort of foundational theory of parts work, quote unquote, as we would call it. There's also other systems that have spun off from or expanded on the basic framework and the theory.

But I think anybody can get, start to get in touch with their parts. I don't think you need, per se, a guide, a facilitator, a therapist. It certainly can help. But it really is just as simple as what we just did. It's a matter of noticing that there is something present with you, your capital Y you. There's something here that seems to be creating an impulse, creating a sensation, a feeling, a trigger, maybe a looping thought, and then simply inviting that, whatever that is, that part of your experience to be seen and to be witnessed.

Maybe to inquire about how old it believes itself to be. Does it have a name or a way that it would like to be called or a way that it would like to be known? And little by little, if you just sort of invite, gently invite these parts, they will kind of start to peek out and then eventually step out of the shadow and more and more into the light and you can start to see them.

They, they develop a personality of their own, which is you in a way, but it may not be you now, you know, here in this moment, in this time and place, or it may be a different aspect of you that is not normally the one that you allow or the, or the one that is, takes the center of the stage. It's more, maybe a, more of a supporting character in your cast.

But again, it can start to become very real in having its own agency, personality, consciousness. It's uncanny sometimes how you're having a conversation with yourself, but where are these other thoughts really coming from? It's It's mysterious in a way, but just by doing that naturally, I think we can make a lot of progress with, like you said, shining light or bringing these, you know, aspects of ourself into the light, which really means into our conscious awareness, where we can start to have a, let's just say, a more healthy relationship with them as compared to what we were talking about before, where they seem to be kind of pulling our strings from behind the scenes and we're not even fully aware that our experiences and our behaviors are not even entirely conscious or self-directed.

[01:24:38] Alex Negrete: Yeah. And what I think is, is so amazing as well is just what we were talking about, about our partners, where we were sharing that shared experience of you having a partner that almost feels like just living in each other's space and relating to one another and being in a relationship is, is like ayahuasca, and same for me.

It's because it makes perfect sense from this framework because you literally have someone that is, by seeing you, bringing these things to the surface for us to see them and have the ability to actually bring them into balance. Whereas, because these are parts of us that without that person, because it is a part of us that is for the moment in being invested into not being seen, that it's putting the blinders on you so you don't see it, but you can't avoid it when you've got a partner that's bringing it out of you.

So it's important to also acknowledge that because that's kind of the nature of relationships in general, whether it's relationships at work, whether it's friends, and of course, direct romantic relationships are, are the most because it's, it really requires you to be open and vulnerable to have the depth.

And so that's a good example of why there could be so m- many relational conflicts, and it kind of spurs this idea of like narcissism too, which I kind of view from this framework as someone's bringing something out of someone, but the person's not ready to, to face that part. So they put the wall up, and now it creates a rift in the relationship because this person is not really a whole person at that moment.

They're putting the wall up, but they're also putting the blinders on, putting the veil from their own eyes, where the, the other person can see it.

[01:26:26] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

[01:26:27] Alex Negrete: But they can't.

[01:26:28] Vision Battlesword: Yeah. It's all relational. It's so meta or fractal in a way. It's like we can have relationships internally with different parts of ourself And that is truly relational.

There is a dynamic at play. There's polarities involved. There's different perspectives that we can all hold, to use that word again, the container of ourself. We can hold all of that within us. But then there is a way in which we sometimes need another person. That could be a counselor, a facilitator, a therapist, a guide.

That can just be a friend like you and me having this kind of a dialogue and a dialectic. It can be, of course, a romantic partner or any other type of intimate relationship, but that's sometimes what we need. Other people can see our shadows sometimes even when we can't, because they have that almost like triangulation.

Like again, if we use the light and the object metaphor, it's almost like the light shines and then I... It's like I don't have eyes in the back of my head, right? The light shines on me and casts my shadow. But if the light is-- If I'm facing into the light, I can never see that shadow. I can intuit that it's there, but other people standing from a different perspective can see it and can point it out to me and say, "I think you've got something that would be interesting to look into here."

Right?

[01:27:58] Alex Negrete: Exactly. Yeah. And so interesting how we call this holding space, right? But it's also about creating... That somebody can potentially create that safe space. I think we're all just somewhere on the journey, and if you can find someone who you trust that feels like they're farther along than you are in that specific journey potentially But really the key is, in my opinion, just is this person, is this person someone that you can, you can trust, that you feel safe to open up with?

What's your take on that?

[01:28:34] Vision Battlesword: Yeah, I'm glad you asked. Of course, because s- at some point we have to have an outside perspective. We have to have, we have to have that other person to look behind and see what's in our shadow. A- as great as we are at seeing in other people's shadows, it's just kind of the nature of the construct that we can't see in our own shadow, or we can't, like, triangulate for ourself in the way that a third person can in a two-person dynamic, as an example.

So that's my thought on it. I think we all help each other out. We're all walking each other home, you know? And hopefully we all have the self-awareness to know when we need to put our oxygen mask on and take care of ourself before we're trying to serve others. I think I'd rather get served by someone who is also on their own personal journey, still growing, and has a support system for themself, you know?

[01:29:30] Alex Negrete: Exactly. Yeah. That's, uh, so wonderfully said because seems like that's really where we're kind of getting to at this point, is that it's really a support system, right? Right. It's like even the parts. This is like nature's own survival mechanism of, uh, having a support system, that if you are struggling, nature gives you one, these parts.

[01:29:50] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

[01:29:50] Alex Negrete: But it does show the value and how important it is to have that support system outside of that, right? You and I in this men's group, that's a support system. That's very intentional. And we're not all blessed with a family that is that ideal support system for us, but we all have our own responsibility to be able to create one if we want to.

And from my view, there's no downsides in having that. If anything, there's only upside to having a support system. And something that Can actually help you work on these things and being a better support for others. But you're right, you have to take care of your own self first. You gotta take care of your own support system first.

But if you can do that and you can create that, that can be so valuable. I've learned that so much. It's probably been one of the biggest breakthroughs that I've ever made is how valuable it's been for me to have support systems like the men's group, like my own mentor or even a community here in Austin.

Austin's been so great for that because so many people here are sort of on this wavelength. They kinda get it. A lot of people come here because it can be a little bit easier in, in certain cities or in certain locations where there might be more of an abundance of those people than otherwise. But yeah, there's so much power in these types of systems and little communities and groups.

[01:31:11] Vision Battlesword: Well, I love that frame that you just created about thinking of our own internal parts, even our shadow parts, as being our own internal support system. I think that's beautiful. I think that's a total reframe from, I think the way we, again, started the conversation and the way most people may think of it as like, "Oh, shadow parts, shadow work, that means scary, that means challenging, difficult, maybe things I don't wanna look at, things I don't wanna face, maybe feelings I don't wanna feel."

But if we think about all of those parts within us and even the ones that are in the shadows, maybe for now or maybe that's actually just where they reside, as being like our own internal support system, like you said, this evolutionary gift, this feature, if you will, that we get to, not we have to, not as if it's a bug or if it's something that always represents a wound that we have to heal, although maybe many times that's how it starts, but that we get to split off these shadow copies of ourselves at various points in time, at various ages or stages of development, and then this becomes our internal team, our internal family, our...

Well, I guess that's probably how the phrase internal family systems came about. But that's a really cool way of thinking about it because if we can start to have relationships with all of these parts, then they can become allies. They can become helpers. They can become the way that we get held when we need that, and that we can hold that container for ourselves as a source of internal strength.

[01:32:58] Alex Negrete: Yeah. It is really fascinating to have this view on it of this is nature's own evolutionary survival mechanism, because I didn't make the conscious choice when that happened to me to have this system set up. But in a certain way, it got me right here sitting in this chair. It got me farther in certain ways than I would have ever thought, and what a blessing that is It really is this beautiful thing that we can alchemize, as your partner Lacey would say, which is a beautiful way of looking at it, and I think that's really what-- whenever I said in the beginning, "I think there's something that wants to come through," that's what I think it is.

It's alchemizing this to get to where we're at now, where we can actually bring this sense of lightness, this sense of-

[01:33:42] Vision Battlesword: Yeah ...

[01:33:42] Alex Negrete: encouragement around looking at this from a more positive lens, because it's good even that it's installed because it serves a purpose, but it's also serving a purpose until it's no longer needed because it's intentionally, right, by some higher force intended for our evolution to then no longer need it.

It's like a dating app. It's really there for you to delete it at the end of the day. Or even the work that I do. The work that I do, I would argue in certain ways that therapy in general is like that. It's there to be used until, you know, and maybe from our perspective, it's, it can always be valuable. I would say more with the work that I do is more relatable to this because it's more about solving a problem.

It's like going deep to get rid of some sort of block until you don't really need it anymore. Of course, it can always help. So it's really there to be transcended to where you don't need that system. And how I kind of connect with it too is that when these parts split off, they're all kind of a little bit at odds with each other, much like a family that's just dysfunctional, but they're still a family.

But what that actually manifests for you experientially is that you feel stuck, you feel blocked, you feel frozen. You try to take action on your goals, and you're procrastinating. You're trying to take action, and you almost get to the point of finishing whatever it is, but then something comes online and stops you from it.

So that's the practical ways that we experience this is it stops us in our tracks from actually being able to reach our goals because we have these things within us that are actively undermining that, working against that, working for their own interests that are not aligned with the whole. So the biggest benefit comes back to what we talked about at the beginning, which is agency and control and power over your own experience, because what happens is that whenever these come into alignment, instead of having all these aspects of you that are working against you, the rocket fuel comes online.

It's like imagine that you're trying to have the compass and go a certain way, but you've got fuel fueling you in the other direction. No matter how hard you try to get to your goals, you've got the fuel going the other way. But imagine having the fuel going forward That's the selling point. So if anyone asks, "Well, why would I wanna do this?

What, what would be the point?" It's like, that's the point, right? Heat, right? Heat, rocket fuel. Trying to get me to, you know... But my other side was the compass, the purpose.

[01:36:07] Vision Battlesword: Yeah.

[01:36:08] Alex Negrete: Right? So you got the rocket fuel and the purpose.

[01:36:10] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm.

[01:36:11] Alex Negrete: So when you got the rocket fuel, all of it aligned. The sky's the limit.

There's no glass ceiling anymore. You're able to get where you wanna go, 'cause everything's in alignment. You've got complete control and agency. But is it possible to change the trajectory? Is it possible to get to the other side? Yes, and that can happen very, very quickly. So if there's any shift that can happen from anyone that's listening to this that's experiencing that, that's a good reframe.

[01:36:38] Vision Battlesword: Totally. Yeah, I mean, it's... Well, every time we have these conversations, this is why I do these conversations, actually. I've been having these conversations for long before I started recording them, because every single time that we have one of these, like, deep discussions and just really peel back the onion on some concept or philosophical topic, I gain new awareness.

Like, this idea of the reframe of what a shadow from a psychological perspective even is, and the complete reframe on, like, what shadow work or shadow play, like, from this scary thing that we have to do because we're wounded and we wanna be healed, or we wanna improve our experience into gathering my superhero team of Avengers who are i- already within me, but I just can't see them.

I just can't find them, and they're not actually working together, rowing the same direction. You know, they're all... This, the Avengers movie or the Marvel movie analogy is actually beautiful, I j- I'm realizing right now. It's like each of our shadows has its own franchise. It's just running around, living its own life, doing its own thing.

And they never get together to have the Avengers movie, which is like everyone actually working together to overcome an obstacle or solve a problem or meet a challenge with their individual superpowers being like witnessed and acknowledged and validated. So I mean, what a cool reframe on shadow work that is.

Like, that's, that's my big takeaway for today. I think my other big takeaway is this concept of what shadow work is from a technical perspective, which is it's a matter of changing my perspective. It's a matter of shifting my frame of reference so that I can see around or remove. I mean, we do that a lot in our type of facilitation, just straight up removing obstacles.

We can remove them, but we can also just sidestep them. We can just look around the room, the space. You brought up that word space, like we hold space, create safe space. Like, it's so interesting that we use that word, that three-dimensional like spatial construct in how we think about things, but it's very useful.

I think that we can move our attention, our focus of awareness through our psychology by doing these types of self-inquiry, like what we demonstrated or very many other techniques to see around these corners, to see into our shadows, and that's really what we're doing when we do shadow work. You know, I think so many people have, coming from plant medicine ceremony, therapy, ayahuasca, these types of containers, that just the way people talk about shadow work, I always get the idea that they imagine themselves like suiting up with armor and swords and shields and like going into a dungeon to do battle with monsters and skeletons and whatever icky things are down there.

And I just think that this is such a more empowering way to look at it. Like what I'm doing is I'm shining the light of my awareness in all the corners and behind all the objects and the obstacles that I don't normally look behind to see what's back there and discover that I'm probably gonna find Superman or Spider-Man or Captain America.

That's a cool way to think of it.

[01:40:08] Alex Negrete: I love that, yeah, 'cause I think people are just so scared of what they would find, thinking that it's exactly the opposite. When you're right, what they do find is that, uh, r- it's like that quote, that we're just scared that we're powerful beyond measure, right? But that's, that's really a considerable truth for, um, for people to go and explore for themselves and find that if that's something that they're open to.

[01:40:30] Vision Battlesword: What about you? What's, uh, what's your takeaway from this conversation?

[01:40:35] Alex Negrete: Well, I think what stands out really, and, and I love how you just said shadow play, is that, you know, we've been talking about work, but that it doesn't have to feel like work. This is actually a journey of self-discovery, coming home to yourself, and it can actually be fun.

It can be exploratory because what are you gonna find about yourself? Underneath the surface, you're probably gonna find a lot of things that you're really gonna like. But to answer your question, I think what stands out to me is just how simple it was for us to do that exercise, and that that was very powerful for me.

That really, for me personally, this whole conversation has been very healing, and it's really an act of love in so many ways and honoring all these parts of us and, and also just sharing this with others that they might be able to get something from it as well. I feel like I hadn't quite had a direct conversation with that part of me like that and, and so for me personally, that was the most powerful.

And it was fun for me. It was fun to do that. So The final idea, I feel like what we're really getting to is this, this idea of, okay, well now what do I do, right? Somebody listened to this now, and how do I get started? What do- what's the first thing I do? What can I do next, right? And you just nailed it, which is you can have a conversation with these parts.

But I would be curious too, 'cause I'm curious because this does stand out to me the most, that I wanna hear from you about it. You know, what would you recommend someone to do next? C- can they have a conversation with themselves? Should they work with someone? Should they have a friend listen to this or, or show them how to do it and they work with a friend or work with someone?

Like, what would be-

[01:42:25] Vision Battlesword: Well, I love the question, and I think you already spoke the answer i- in making the question because you used the word a couple of times at least, curiosity. I think just getting curious. Just start there. Get curious. Wow, I feel some kinda way. I feel icky. I feel irritable. Like I shared before we started the recording, I'm having an irritable day today, unreasonably irritable.

A process for me could start with just sitting down, getting quiet, taking a few breaths, and just asking myself, "What am I feeling right now?" Or, "What am I thinking? What is the story that I have right now that's associated with irritability?" It can start from any part of our experience. It can start from a body sensation.

I feel a cramp in my leg, or I feel a pain in my shoulder. It can start from an emotion. I'm feeling afraid in this moment. I feel ashamed, or I feel something complex that I can't exactly name as a pure emotion, but I can start to describe it. It can start from a looping thought or a story or a narrative.

It can start from a memory or any other type of imagination. Whatever that part of our experience is, that can be the origin point. That can be, like, the center of the lotus, that all we have to do is just start asking questions with pure curiosity. What is this feeling? What is this like? What story is this telling me right now?

Who's talking right now? Who are you? Do you have a name "How old are you?" And that's, that's how it starts. Sometimes you find a part and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you find, or rather I should say, sometimes you find a fractured personality part that can actually engage in dialogue. Sometimes you just find more experience.

Sometimes you find an emotion that swells and grows and just wants to be felt and doesn't have anything particular to say in language or visualizations, but it's just energy that's ready to move out or to be released. But it all starts with curiosity. That's what I would encourage everyone, including myself, to do as often as possible, is to get curious about your own experience.

And yeah, absolutely reach out to a friend, to a guide, to a counselor, to anyone to get some help and support, 'cause there can be times, it can be fun for sure when you find a part and you start getting playful with it and you realize that it wants to play too, and you discover a superhero. And then sometimes you do discover some stuff that can be challenging to hold for yourself, especially at first.

And it can be really, really helpful to have someone to help you hold it or to help you guide you through the process like what we did. You know, you can do that for yourself, I can do that for myself, and also I would love for you to do it for me sometimes just because it's easier that way, and sometimes it can be more fun.

Yeah. Those are my thoughts. This was a cool conversation. I learned a lot about shadows just from picking it apart with you. Thank you so much for doing this with me.

[01:45:56] Alex Negrete: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for the invitation. Yeah, this was so, so healing for me to speak on and just to, to put words to so many of these things that are not always easy to put words to.

[01:46:09] Vision Battlesword: Mm-hmm.

[01:46:12] Alex Negrete: So it's a conversation that I'm gonna have to sit with , you know?

[01:46:17] Vision Battlesword: Well, I'm really happy that you got a lot out of it. And I would also love to not forget to ask you a really important question, which is if people wanted to get in touch with you, if people wanted to work with you for your hypnotherapy or anything else, you know, that you're offering or any other ways that you'd like to connect, how would they do that?

[01:46:38] Alex Negrete: So yeah. For me, alexnegrete.com, A-L-E-X N-E-G-R-E-T-E. That's gonna have all my information and however would be the best to, to be able to work together. And what I'm really focused on honestly right now is just creating more, like, free resources and more content and things that can give all of us the, like, more tools and potentially create more of that support, more of that support system.

And so I would say just look into my social media because that's gonna be a big priority of mine, creating more education, more resources, and more things that anyone who wants to explore these things more can get even more value from.

[01:47:25] Vision Battlesword: Do you have an Instagram handle or X or what's your social media?

[01:47:28] Alex Negrete: Yeah. It's generally my name across everything, @alexnegrete, N-E-G-R-E-T-E. And if you Google or you put that, type that in, even if it's not that handle, 'cause on TikTok I don't have the handle, but it... I'll pop up. So I feel like in a way it's kind of embracing it as a little bit of a brand.

[01:47:46] Vision Battlesword: Brought it full circle.

Yeah. That's fantastic. Okay, cool. Well, I'll put all of that stuff you mentioned, your website, your social media stuff, put all that in the show notes so people can find you if they wanna connect with you and see the work that you do. And yeah, this will be posted on Spotify, all the podcast indexes, and also on YouTube as well as on Audiogram even though I don't record video yet.

And I just am so grateful for your time. This was a great conversation, Mr. Shadow. And, uh, yeah, I'd love to do it again anytime.

[01:48:19] Alex Negrete: Same here. Same here. Cool, man. Thank you.

[01:48:23] Vision Battlesword: Thanks for joining me for Intentional Evolution. If you'd like to support the show, there's a couple of ways that you can do that. One is to connect with me directly.

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